What does self-love actually mean, feel or look like? Does it mean splurging on that Rolex watch you've been eyeing, going on that spa vacation you've been talking about or telling that flaky ass dude to duck off? Well, though it can mean all of those things, it really is about how you'd like to be treated (by yourself and others). It is about knowing your worth, what you stand for and knowing your boundaries. What I'm about to share with you is entirely based on my own experiences, what has worked for me, and by no means an expert. Ready? Let's go...!
1. Positive self-talk
If no one is saying nice things about you, it doesn't mean that you're not an awesome human being! It definitely wouldn't hurt to give yourself a little ego boost every now and then. So one of the things I love doing when I am feeling low or in a negative head space is positive self talk. I stand in front of the mirror, and tell myself I am a, b and c. I am going to achieve x, y and z. Repeat it as many times you'd need. Say it like you mean it, and wholeheartedly believe it. Then go about with your day. If you do this often enough, as a part of your daily ritual, you're going to start believing you are a, b and c. You are going to achieve x, y and z. Because believing is becoming.
2. Practice good self-care
I don't necessarily enjoy working out and eating healthy all the time, but I know it is good for my body, soul and spirit, so I schedule twice a week to attend a workout class and have a vegan meal at least once a week. It makes my body feel good and lifts my mood instantly. Scheduling time and sticking to a fitness routine will reap you rewards in the long run; it maintains your sanity and boosts your immunity and self-confidence. Not only will you look good, you'd naturally feel great! Having a skin care routine, sound diet, balanced work-social life, being active are all a part of good self-care.
3. Set healthy boundaries
Be a tuned to your own feelings and emotions. Your gut is that inner compass that will never guide you astray. If you are in a situation that harms you, are against your values, feels injustice, then speak your truth and/or leave the situation. Saying 'no' to something or someone is not a weakness at all, on the contrary, it shows strength in character. It'll take practice and courage, but once you start, it'll get a whole lot easier with time.
4. Protect yourself
Surround yourself with friends and family who are positive and have your best interest. Get rid of toxic friends who take pleasure in your pain and loss rather than your happiness and success. It's easy for people to be there for you when you are at your lowest, but the true test of friendship is when they are also there for you when you are at your best. Balanced relationships of any kind are an equal exchange of energy. If you find yourself giving more than you are receiving, then it's time to reevaluate your relationships.
5. Forgive yourself
We can be so hard on ourselves sometimes. Being overly critical and punishing ourselves for the mistakes we've done. But we are only human, recognise that no one is perfect and that making mistakes are all a part of our soul's growth. Forgiving yourself and others is the key to your freedom.
6. Live intentionally
Living a life that is meaningful and based on intention will help you accept and love yourself more. Your purpose doesn't have to be crystal clear to you. If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make decisions that support this intention, and feel good about yourself when you succeed in this purpose.You will love yourself more if you see yourself accomplishing what you set out to do. You need to establish your living intentions, to do this.
It is not an overnight process, one that took me years to comprehend, and till this day, still need reminding. Self-love is a continuous journey. When you start loving yourself, you will attract the right people and opportunities to you. You will feel empowered, confident, at peace and hella sexy! 😉